I gazed intently to try to see
Through the apparition
Beyond the guilt
Of my portrait’s expression

Demanding an answer to account
For my every action
Every mistake
Which taunts my very existence

Running seemingly far I hoped to break
Free from the bonds
History’s realities
Covering vast expanses of my life

Hiding behind teary eyes to blur
The axiom in script etched:
“Objects in mirror are
Closer than they appear.”

One question that certainly is worth exploring is one posed to me by an atheist friend that I frequently debate on issues surrounding Christianity. One of his most recent questions is as follows, and I’d like to take a shot at answering it: why are there so few early references to Jesus and early Christianity if He truly walked the Earth in the early first century A.D.?

Aside from the fact that oral communication far surpassed written communication in effectiveness in first century because of widespread illiteracy across Judea, it is clear that Jesus was recorded so infrequently in the first years of the church because of the urgency of the Great Commission He gave to His disciples. Perhaps just considering the simple fact that writing lengthy dissertations on the life of Jesus would take years to compose and reproduce (without the use of the inventions of modernity) is enough to refute the necessity of the existence of early references to Jesus. From the perspective of the disciples, a half-year spent writing a simple letter would be a half-year wasted when they could travel on foot from Jerusalem to Rome in the same period of time, stopping in nearly every major city on whichever Roman road they traveled to proclaim the gospel they would have penned. It was nonsensical to early Christians to waste such precious time on an article of marginal impact.

In addition, the spread of the early church in its first decade was limited. Consider that until Paul’s first missionary journey in 47 A.D., almost none of the world outside of the Levant had heard the Gospel. The longest distances to communicate were mainly a few days’ journey away, something that could be traveled without interrupting day-to-day life. And with the urgency brought on by the belief in the impending return of Christ, they believed they did not have any time to waste.

Let’s reflect on when many of the modern canonical documents were written. Five of Paul’s thirteen letters were written when he was imprisoned, which would make sense since he would have been unable to travel on foot to the churches in need of ministry. In addition, the remaining Pauline letters were composed either only after each missionary journey was completed or during his longer stays on his missionary journeys (such as Corinth and Ephesus).

What about the Gospels? The first Gospel penned was likely the Gospel According to Mark, which, not coincidentally, is the shortest of the four canonical Gospels, further emphasizing the lack of emphasis put on the written word. Tradition dictates that Peter told Mark the stories that were recorded in the Gospel shortly before he (Peter) was martyred in Rome. This illustrates that until Peter was nearly executed for his faith, he did not see the necessity of using time to record Jesus’s life on Earth.

The Gospel According to Matthew is the most difficult to reconcile. Little is known about the life of Matthew after Jesus’s ascension, though it is traditionally believed that he was martyred in Ethiopia.  That being said, it is highly possible that Matthew composed his Gospel prior to Mark. In fact, that was the tradition for nearly two millennia. So why would Matthew go against the grain and compose his Gospel though it may have cost him valuable time proclaiming that same Gospel? It is because he was the only of the twelve disciples we are certain was literate and wrote fluently in Koine Greek. As a tax collector, he was well educated and probably saw the long term benefit of composing the Gospel.

What about the Gospel According to Luke? It is believed that this Gospel was written by Luke, “the beloved physician,” a close companion of Paul. Also being very well educated—a physician by trade—he would have seen the long term benefits of recording both his Gospel and the Acts of the Apostles. As such, these documents have become invaluable to the history of the spread of Christianity and its roots in Jesus’s life.

Finally, the Gospel According to John also bears mention. It was written near the end of his life, where he was too weak to travel far. In addition, tradition ascribes that a local church commissioned him to write the Gospel to preserve what he knew of Jesus’s time on Earth. His three epistles were written during his time in Ephesus, which was likely also in his old age. Revelation also was written under those same pretenses, though he was in exile on the island of Patmos by that time.

The other epistles also serve to reinforce this belief. The Epistle of Jude is certainly interesting because of its short length and connection to Second Peter. It’s fairly clear the Jude is an abbreviated version of parts of Second Peter, published after it with minor changes to suit the author’s purposes. This does not pose a problem to belief in lack of emphasis on writing, simply because it is so brief and so closely tied to Second Peter that it would have not have been time consuming to write, copy and distribute the epistle. The Epistle of James was likely written by James the Just, who remained in Jerusalem for his entire life, dying in 62 A.D. This gave him more than enough time to compose a letter to send out to the churches abroad. Finally, First and Second Peter give the implication that Peter was writing from Rome, the location where he ended his travels and established himself until his martyrdom. It’s clear that he would have had abundant time to write to churches across the known world during that time.

Many still argue, however, that extra-biblical accounts of the existence of Jesus would have been in abundance had he actually lived. This argument is mistaken for a few key reasons. First, during the lifetime of Jesus, He emphasized that His ministry and work be kept secret until after the resurrection. Just read the Gospel According to Mark for proof of this assertion. For the most part, this was representative of the status quo. While He had a significant following, many people who would have likely recorded His ministry were shielded from seeing it. It wasn’t until Jesus was arrested in Gethsemane when He was made known to history fully. And it’s at this time where parts of the Talmud record His existence. They are only brief mentions, but they are crucial to understanding that Jesus did indeed exist. Following His resurrection, only five hundred people plus the twelve disciples witnessed Him in person. That would leave quite a few people to proclaim His resurrection to the world, but not many people to write lengthy documents about His activities and proof of His resurrection. The probability that many of the five hundred were literate is slim.

Considering the time beyond Jesus’s ascension to Heaven, one has to wonder where all of the records of a massive conversion on the Day of Pentecost are. The Acts of the Apostles says that a staggering five thousand people converted to Christianity that day. Wouldn’t such a large number be recorded by historians all around? Surprisingly, five thousand is only a small fraction of the over one million pilgrims that would come from around the world each year. Such an event could easily go without notice, with a possible mention of some “seemingly drunk men” speaking before the vast assemblies of people. Of course, that kind of reference does not exist, which identifies the next issue. Where are any records of the early rise of Christianity? The likelihood is that many records may have at one time existed, but were destroyed during the many conquests of Jerusalem. Since the time of the ascension, Jerusalem has been sacked by opposing forces nearly a dozen times. Unfortunately, most documents not already in the possession of individuals outside of the Levant in by the end of the second century A.D. were likely lost forever—destroyed unintentionally by greedy governments seeking more power and more glory.

Christianity beyond the Levant must also be considered when accounting for historical records. In fact, because Christianity did not spread quickly beyond the Levant, many who would have kept records because of their Greco-Roman tendencies were not given the opportunity to. The first major outreach beyond the Levant was in 47 A.D. by Paul the Apostle on his first missionary journey. While it was clear that some churches had already been started prior to his ministry, Paul was the initiator of the spread of the Christianity faith into Asia Minor and beyond, which ultimately brought it to Rome. Much of the activity of these Christians was reviled by the general population in nearly every city it existed, forcing churches to move underground quickly. Such a movement would shield their numbers and size from historians for at least a decade. But by the 60s A.D., persecutions of Christians, and records of it, across the empire became commonplace. And at this point, generally undisputed history can fill in the rest of the story of the growth and spread of Christianity.

In essence, records of early Christianity were not kept because of a few key reasons, aside from the fact that the general population of the area of initial outreach was illiterate. First, it’s clear that the disciples believed in the urgency of the Great Commission and didn’t see the logic in wasting time to write letters and testaments of minimal impact while they could travel on foot and change the world. Secondly, when the letters and testaments were finally written, it wasn’t because of a sudden shift in this belief; it was because Christianity had spread great distances and many of the disciples found themselves unable to travel those distances for one reason or another. Records by historians of Jesus weren’t kept because of secrecy of His ministry here on Earth. Beyond that, it’s clear that those who saw Him following the resurrection were mostly illiterate—and thus didn’t record their accounts—while those that may have been literate or witnessed the birth of Christianity likely had their accounts lost in the flames of conquest and destruction. Finally, Christianity’s spread throughout the rest of the Greco-Roman world was slow to start, and when it finally take off, it quickly was forced underground to hide from persecution, where it successfully hid from historical records for over a decade. The very early years of the Christian movement, and ultimately Jesus Christ’s existence here on Earth, are not left unrecorded because they didn’t happen; rather, they were left unrecorded or lost because the disciples had their eyes on a Prize much higher and much more worthy than simple, limited words could convey to a world in need: Jesus Christ.

My words cannot do justice to the mercy and blessings God has bestowed upon my life. This past week has been a series of miraculous events. And while many could accredit these events to my actions over the past few years, I would argue that the circuitous life I have lived allows for no other explanation than something miraculous to account for such an outcome. Praise God for all that He is doing and He continues to do!

Sometimes I just need to laugh,
Out loud, unrestrainsted.
Laughter in the most ridiculous manner—
So that everyone is staring.

Laughter turns the salty water
Into the experience of many glasses of wine.
The miraculous power will move out the looming clouds
And herald in the sunshine previously unseen.

Laughter gives hope to the hopeless,
Life to the dead and dying souls,
Freedom to the bound and disparaged,
Rest to the restless spirits.

Laughter is more potent than gravity,
More transformational than a star’s nuclear fusion,
More enduring than this temporal world,
More satisfying than the tip of Midas’s finger.

Laughter makes a fool
Out of the least of these.
The most wonderful gift of all
Would be to see the humor—the humanity—behind everything.

So I laugh when I want to,
Uncontrolled, unashamed.
And never have I once regretted the feeling
That only true laughter can beckon.

Have you ever been inside a cloud?

It’s an experience unlike any other in this world.
With a rushing wind you’re overcome by
The clean
The crisp
The pure
The moist
The apparatus of the cloud that envelopes like no other.

It’s like being bound by a vast expanse of freedom.
You’re overcome in a misty utopia by
Unfettered
Unending
Unconstrained
Unconditional
Unceasing plains of a heavenly world that persists.

Yet the only place I’ve experienced this phenomenon
Is the epitome of the bound.
Just single steps would send a soul plummeting down
To the endless depths below.
While the mountains may be high enough,
Piercing the sky above,
The clouds in which we walk shroud the true height,
Blanketing imminent danger.

Maybe when one of us finally falls through this façade
The truth will be unveiled.
Just the act of one could indeed break the chains
That keep us bound.
Or perhaps simply shielding our eyes from the travesty,
Blocking the memories,
We will continue to live in this pseudotopia around us,
Blind to our reality.

We’re all just travelers, really.
Some of us have more baggage than others,
But those who learn the art of letting go
Find a new freedom.

Life isn’t any different than a road, a highway.
From one terminus to the other,
A society keeps moving forward.
Of course there are accidents, detours and vistas,
But that’s just part of the journey.

Such reality is easily forgotten by many.
Maybe such a remembrance could create a change—
Prevent the premature exits.
But instead we propel ourselves onward.
Who really needs speed limits, anyway?

Maybe traffic is not a nuisance but a reminder.
A vehicle that spins out of control affects more than the driver,
Because those closest slam on their breaks,
Some piling onto the devastation.
But those behind honk their horns,
Yell out of their windows the spectrum of profanities.

When all else is stripped away,
The traveler has but one thing to do:
Keep traveling.
The road is certainly long and weary,
With exit ramps offering an illusory solace.
Because on this highway, there are no on-ramps to beckon the driver’s return.

…shall be the last of an era. “So the last will be first, and the first last. For many are called, but few chosen.” Standing on such a precipice proves itself to be quite daunting–it’s time to take the plunge now before coming to my senses and withdrawing from it all.

Where better to begin than before the beginning? The eternal purpose serves to hold all things together. “And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist.” Understanding our reason for existence is important. We exist to fulfill the eternal purpose–the purpose that glorifies Iesous Christos, the purpose that redeems those who were chosen before the foundation of universe.

That leaves just one question: have you been chosen?